Growing up as "Japanese"

People tell me I'm Japanese because I grew up that way.

People tell me I'm not Singaporean because I never grew up that way.


But what do you mean by "that way"?


I don't speak Singlish, I don't know pretty much about Singaporean history and culture just like Singaporean does.

I'm also not intellectual like they do.

But I like all of Singaporean food, and I know all of them.

I have my favorites restaurants and place to go.

I have so many places filled with nostalgia.

I go water market, or the local market. I can mimick Singaporean talking.

I know how to wear and act like Singaporean.

Although I did not grow up as Singaporean, I'm still part of it.


I'm also the typical elite Japanese who raised in foreign and came back as returnees.

I speak Japanese. I act like Japanese.

I mostly have Japanese friends and am in Japanese community.

But I don't know what exactly they do for Japnese custom.

I don't understand the way they think sometimes.

Their manner is too complex that I can't obey them.

I feel outsiders or different when I talk with a Japanese group.

I don't get high and talking in a high voice just like other girls do.

I brought as Japanese, but I'm not exactly them.


....should i still call myself a 'girl'




this is sad.

You did not think yourself as a part of any nation.

You just wanted to know more about the culture you hold because

you just like those countries.

But it's not to everyone.

They want to know where you're from.


I need to be Japanese because that's the closest identity I can explain.

I don't belong to them.

But people think I do, because I start acting like Japanese.

They just tell me how Japanese I am, but that's not my true identity.

Even Singaporean living in Japan act like Japanese right?

It's just like that! I'm just like them.

I don't act like Japanese because I'm Japanesee.

I act like Japanese because I am in Japan.

Why people.


I do not really care if I'm Japanese, Singapoean or Malaysian,

but now I care because I feel like people wants to know where I'm from,

so that they can give different attitudes according to that.


I mean I don't really care if I'm Japanese or not.

So I used to say I'm Japanese,

but I don't like when people get suspicious when I talk about Singapore just like my home country.


I don't really care if I state myself Japanese, Singaporean or Malaysian,

but even Japanese, Tokyo people doesn't mean everyone is fully Japanese and cold right?

I'm just like that.